Chrysanthemum
by CookieCatSU
Summary: The scent of newly bloomed flowers was sickly sweet across the boardwalk, the tangible taste of honey lingering just at the tip of her tongue. Pearl takes it all in, the bright sunshine of spring, the emanating warmth, with newfound enthusiasm. Or; Pearl grieves. Grieves, mourns and adjusts.


It was raining.

The droplets falling from the sky freeze before they hit the ground, so really it was frozen rain, that unpleasant mixture between snow and hail and something else entirely.

Snow coats the ground, pale white, crushed by milling feet. She stares out at the cherry blossom tree in the distance, bare.

Pearl is cold. No, not cold. She's never cold.

Pearl is hurt. Yes, hurt.

Flashes of pink ringlets refuse to leave her. Her hands clench against her knees, tearing, ripping. The frozen rain pelts her shoulders, constant and stinging.

There's a hand on her shoulder. Warm. Words she can't hear. She wants to push it away, as it brushes against taut, sharp shoulder blades, but can't summon up the energy. The care. The will.

She's still reeling, reeling. Staggering from the blow, the loss. They all are.

There's a peal of laughter. The desperate cry of a baby.

Her whole body tenses, fists clenching. She's crying, sitting in the pelting rain.

Rose really was gone… Gone. Gone. Gone.

She screams. Screams. Screams. Until her throat is raw. Until she can scream no more.

That winter gets no easier. It's hard, and complicated and messy.

Adjusting, to being so suddenly sundered, fragmented, was impossible.

* * *

Warm arms encircle her from behind. The other's body is warm against her back, all encompassing. Fingers brush softly against her shoulders, running little circles against her skin. She can see nothing but soft pink ringlets.

She wraps a finger around one of the gentle curls. Rose is whispering soft, silly things into her ear. She's laughing, because somehow she always manages to make her laugh.

Her breath tickles against Pearl's cheek. She turns to speak and…

There's a loud knock on the door of her room, echoing.

She startles, eyes popping open, and suddenly she's surrounded once more by towers of water. Cold. Empty. Lifeless.

A day dream. That's all it was. Not real.

She aches, desperately to get back to that, back to her, even if it's just an illusion.

"Pearl, are you… okay? You've been shut up in there for weeks" Pearl sniffles, wiping at her eyes, puffy from crying, but makes no attempt to respond. She Hope's that if she doesn't respond, Amethyst will get the hint and go away.

"And anyway, we haven't seen you in days and uh, I just thought I'd check on ya, you know?"

"Pearl, ya there?"

"Pearl?"

"Pearl?"

"Pearl?!"

There's an awful, pregnant pause, painfully heavy, "At least talk to me" Amethyst exclaims, and Pearl can hear the frustration in her voice. She doesn't blame her. She's been avoiding them. Avoiding everything, "We're worried about you"

She sounds concerned. Her voice has softened, somewhat.

Something wrenches at Pearl's non-existent heartstrings. She wraps her arms around her shoulders, and tries to summon up some dredges of voice.

"I'm fine" She calls, raspy, and weak, even to her own ears. She hopes it's less unconvincing than it sounds.

"Will you _please_ come out?" Amethyst calls, and at this point, she's nearly begging. She knocks on the door at least three more times, tries her best not to seem to agitated.

She does not want to come out. Then she'd have to face reality, and Pearl could not bring herself to do that.

Pearl gulps. She swears she can feel a lingering touch on her shoulder. She shivers.

"C'mon, P" Amethyst pleads, and Pearl's heart hurts.

She stands up.

The door is opening within moments, revealing a stumbling Amethyst who had clearly been leaning, heavily, against the opening.

There's a brief moment of eye contact. They stare at each other for several moments. Amethyst's eyebrows omit together, lip pulling up in a less than satisfied way. She looks worried.

"You ain't looking too hot, P," She blurts, before she can stop herself.

Pearl sighs, tired. Rubs her elbow.

"I could say the same for you" Is all she says.

She gazes out into the house. Out the screen door.

It's still snowing.

* * *

Thunder boomed just outside the window, crashing and rolling, a tumultuous cacophony of noise. She sits curled up into the corner of the couch, hands clasped in her lap, as Lightning flashes, half illuminating the sallow contours of her pale face.

"What are we gonna do?" Amethysts asks the group at large, wide eyed, "Garnet?"

She's silent, hunkered to their left, staring at the ceiling.

She didn't know, didn't have the answer. They've been asking this question for a decade.

Pearl sighs. Rolls her head to the side.

Then, she risks a glance at the green gem, and offers a tremulous smile.

* * *

The scent of newly bloomed flowers was sickly sweet across the boardwalk, the tangible taste of honey lingering just at the tip of her tongue. Pearl takes it all in, the bright sunshine of spring, the emanating warmth, with newfound enthusiasm. It was still damp, and Pearl could still feel the moisture left over from a recent rain, having just come through. It prickles against her skin, not at all unpleasant.

She hums. The gem beside her swings their interlocked hands, and there's this bright exuberance about her, as she skips from booth to booth, store to store.

They pass a display of bright, fresh flowers jutting out from the new flower shop; pink carnations*, and purple violets*, and yellow marigolds*, and crimson roses*, a vivid collage of colors and scents. Peridot plucks a chrysanthemum* as they pass, and presents it to Pearl with a flourish.

"Look, it's an organic, plant based life form" Peridot exclaims proudly, smiling wide.

Pearl's expression becomes bemused.

"Yes. And it's lovely, Peridot"

The sunshine is warm against her back. The wind is pleasantly cool

"I've disconnected it from it's source of nutrients" She cackles, loud and bright as the sun overhead, "Now it must bow down to me"

Pearl rolls her eyes. Throws her head back, and just _laughs_, louder than she has in a long while. Her sides hurt, by the end of it, and Peridot's look of feigned indignance almost sends her laughing again.

It feels nice.

"Hush, you little dork"

There's silence, light and simple. Comfortable, as they walk across the boardwalk, surrounded by the color and moisture and _liveliness_ of spring.

Peridot looks down for a moment, nervous, almost. Then, she offers the freshly plucked bloom to Pearl,

"Here. It's yours" A shy smile. Pale purple petals glisten, dewlike, in the sun. Simple.

Pearl grins in return, light and simple. Uncomplicated.

Her fingers clasp around the green stem, vibrant, cool, fresh. She brushes a fingers against one of the leaves,

"Thank you"

She braids the violet chrysanthemum* in her hair without another thought.

Back home, the cherry blossoms were falling.

* * *

Marigold* - Despair, grief, jealousy

Rose, dark crimson* - Mourning

Pink Carnation* - I'll never forget you

Violet* - Loyalty, devotion, faithfulness, modesty

Chrysanthemum* - Cheerfulness


End file.
